The most direct way to a voice of influence is learning how to slow down. And really be with someone.
Impact doesn’t come from our words, it starts with my inner state.
If I am moving to fast to slow down enough to be able to see or understand someone’s deeper need is, how can I be of service?
We feel it when someone is not present with us. And because of this don’t feel we can trust them. Why would I open a financial account with a bank leader who can’t hear me beyond the transaction?
How can someone be there for me in the future when they aren’t here right now? Present, hearing and feeling my every word. Then when they speak…I listen.
The key to having a voice of influence is not in my speaking voice…
The power of my voice is my ability to help my listener. My listener has needs. His needs are to feel secure inside. When we are chasing targets running around with ‘never enough time’ on our minds we are insecure inside.
The most powerful leaders speak in a way that raises our inner security.
The key to having impact with our voice is to help raise our listeners inner security.
My guy at the bank needs to be receptive enough. open enough, to feel safe and secure enough to drop his guard enough, to find a little wiggle room around his rock solid wall of an ego, in order to be able to really listen.
All that inner security rising has to happen first. Or he will never become my financial rep.
The secret to my voice of influence is my ability to help people get a good feeling. If I can bring a good feeling to the other person, that helps them relax because it reminds them of a fundamental truth he may have forgotten…that everything is really ok.
Deep breath… yes, everything is ok. It is fine. That is what people need to feel.
When we bring a good feeling into the room, it is positively contagious.
So I am helping my listener let me in, by helping him relax.
And if I am at ease enough within myself, comfortable enough in my own skin.
Then I will see him begin to relax a little. Let go a little more. Catch on to a good feeling himself…and now he is feeling better.
He is himself again.
And now we can have a conversation.
One secret to having a voice of influence and impact, is about helping others feel ease inside themselves. Not Donald Trump. But much more like Fred Rogers.
When my listener is having a good feeling, his inner security rises. He no longer subconsiously feels the need to protect himself.
Now we can really talk.
So helping my listener who is serving me at the bank drop into a deeper ease is a way that I can create what I am looking for.
First a connection, then a relationship. Now my new friend will open doors for me that I didn’t even know existed.
Is my impact power over him? Beating him into submission relentlessly with my powerful voice?
Or is impact really about soothing the soul, calming the fears we all have at times, and allowing us together to fall into a good feeling together.
Now his voice flows. Now my voice flows. And our ears can hear.
And now I have a friend for life.
And money transactions always always seems to follow these good feeling relationships.
We can take that to the bank.